I realize that I’m the last person who should give etiquette advice, but someone has to do it.

When I refer to etiquette, I’m not talking about which fork to use or where to put you water glass at a fancy dinner party. I’m not referring to saying, “please” or “thank you.” I’m more referring to basic respect for others and the use of common courtesy.

I had a few encounters with people recently that made me so mad, I wanted to lose my religion. All of these happened within an hour of each other.

The other day, I witnessed some crotchety old woman come out of the store and berated a man who was putting on his mask. She said that you don’t need to wear a mask and the guys said it’s for my protection not yours. The guy said that he was vaccinated and that he was aware of others’ rights and just wanted to wear a mask. Fair enough. It’s his choice and no one else’s business.

The old woman went off on the poor guy.  She was clearly not a pillar of health herself, as she looked like she was just discharged from some institution. She had a lit cigarette in her mouth and was brow beating her husband in tow, who used a cane and was wheeling out a new big screen. She’s probably worth a million dollars, which is irrelevant and tragic at the same time. People need to realize that they need to mind their own business.

I went to the Pikeville Commons and needed to park. Being the kind person I am, I waved a lady across the walkway while I patiently awaited her to cross. She stopped dead in the middle of the road and fumbled through her suitcase-like purse to try to find something, assuming her keys. This lasted for about 30 seconds. Being the good excommunicated Catholic I am, I cursed her under my breath.

This woman, who I was kind enough to help to safely cross, stopped dead in her tracks and made me wait for her to find her keys. I was infuriated. What the heck is wrong with people? If someone is kind enough to let someone cross, get your rear in gear and cross quickly. At that point I wished I had a shock collar, as I would have done some obedience training. And, for the record, there were physical barriers as she ran out of the store like she was caught stealing something.

Speaking of the Pikeville Commons, have you ever noticed that you cant see the traffic in front of the stores because of the bushes and trees some genius planted in the curb? That designer needs to go back to school or lose their job.

While I’m on a roll, if you see someone who is trying to merge onto the highway and you have the safe ability to move over and let that person merge in — I mean this in a Christian way — move the hell over.

These people who think they own the road are a menace and should get their licenses revoked. Common courtesy states that if you can safely allow another person to merge, then you should move over and let them on the roadway. Wrecks happen for a host of reasons. But for one to happen because an inconsiderate motorist wouldn’t allow someone to merge should be criminal.

So there you have it, etiquette lessons from me, for what they’re worth

Thanks for reading the News-Express.