Custom dictates beginning of the year columns be upbeat and full of optimism. "If I could only come up with something good to say," he types, a twinkle in his eye.
How does "former Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell" sound to you?
If the numbers hold in Georgia, that'll be the best description of our own Senator Yertle since someone noticed his resemblance to a certain Dr. Seuss character. As of this writing, Democrats will hold a one vote majority in the Senate when the smoke clears and Moscow Mitch's reign of terror will be over.
And here I thought the only good thing we had to talk about was going to be what happens once Putin's puppy leaves the White House. Besides getting all the rugs replaced, that is.
Despite the lawsuits, the threats, the false accusations and the number of elected Republicans more loyal to a wannabe dictator than the constitution they swore to uphold, the Tantrum in Chief will soon be leaving the Oval Office. Hard to say where he'll go from there, but my money is to a luxury suite exile in North Korea or Argentina or maybe even Georgia (but not the one on Ray Charles' mind ).
It'll be wherever he can get so New York or our own Georgia can't get him in a courtroom. He might be able to pre-pardon himself against federal charges, but the constitution says the states have rights and one of those is to prosecute criminals.
It's impossible to predict what will happen between now and inauguration day. As I type, Cadet Bonespur's most fervent followers are throwing a superspreader event in DC. They're proud to show their true colors and for that maybe we should thank the Donald.
Unfortunately for them, most wear sidearms instead of masks and that's pretty much the definition of bringing a knife to a gunfight.
If we can keep them from burning the buildings that housed the institutions their hero has been incinerating, things might get back to the normal abnormal in D.C. The Republican party will be the minority and Dr. No will no longer decide who gets million dollar tax breaks and who gets million dollar medical bills.
The answers were "not you" and "you" if one of you were wondering.
But it's not all peaches and cream. Here in Kentucky, where the Pro-Strife party has a super-majority, MAGA loyalists are working feverishly to strip the governor of emergency powers because, of course, open bars are far more important than breathing Kentuckians.
Our governor has had the audacity to make hard decisions based in science using emergency powers that, up to Thanksgiving, had lessened the pandemic's impacts in our state compared to most surrounding states. But keeping Kentuckians alive and healthy is not in the pro-strife party's platform.
No, Kentucky's Republican party has a one word platform — backward. That's their direction, that's their goal, and it will be the only place this state will ever go as long as they're the majority.
On the other hand, I suppose there's still a place Yertle can rule the swamp.